TO THE 2020 BRIDE | WHY YOU SHOULD FORGET ABOUT WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN
Marriage. Love. Forever. Husband. Celebration. Commitment. Family. Wife. Unity. Friends.
Just a few of the words I think of when I hear the word wedding. Weddings are beautiful celebrations of love and commitment. It’s feeling over the moon in love with someone, but even deeper. It’s a need met that is deep down inside to be loved and committed to someone until death do us part. It’s having someone to have and to hold. It’s knowing that in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, there will always be someone by your side to do life with.
To the to be brides everywhere right now, I know this time and all that's going on right now really stinks. It's messing everything up. All your plans- everything you've dreamed about, worked so hard for, and planned out is being thrown out. You planned so carefully, stretched every dollar, calculated every minute, thought out every detail, only to have it tossed completely or shelved for later.
I know you're heartbroken and disappointed and frustrated and angry, and scared and anxious too. In the middle of it all, will you do something with me? Will you close your eyes and think about that guy you're gonna marry? Will you think about all of the things you love about him? Will you think about the fact that you are gonna marry this guy and get to spend the entire rest of your life with him?
Will you think about your childhood dreams of getting married? In your little girl mind, what did you dream of? I'm sure that dream looks a little different for everyone, but I'm also pretty sure that all the important things are still in place.
You still have your future, you still have your guy. You still have your beautiful wedding dress. You still have your family and your friends and your best supporters. There's still a preacher that will marry you. You still get to have and to hold, to love and to cherish. There's still time to have the wedding you've always dreamed of. It may not be exactly the way you had planned a month ago. It may not be on the exact day, time of year, or even exact location you had planned, but it can still happen.
Can you do something else for me? Can you forget about what could have been and embrace what is going to be? Instead of throwing in the towel and saying "just forget it, it's not worth the trouble and stress of trying to move our wedding," say with me, "we're going to figure out a way to make our dreams come true." Look for beauty. Look for opportunity.
If you're planning to delay your wedding altogether, you get a chance to really sit back and think about what is important. You get the chance to focus in on your dreams and make them happen and let go of the stuff that really didn't matter anyways. You get to go into your wedding day knowing that life can change in the blink of an eye, and you'll have a whole new appreciation for the sweet and special moments. You have some time to breathe and live and enjoy the lovely and rare moments that often get missed in the hustle of last minute wedding planning.
If you're planning to go on down to the courthouse or gather a few friends on your front lawn and get married, but push out the wedding celebration, I would say make both events special and sweet and each unique. Focus on what you get to do instead of what you didn’t get to do. You get the chance to celebrate your wedding + marriage twice! I remember feeling a little sad after my wedding day thinking I would never be able to experience a day like that again. You get to have that intimate, special marriage celebration that is beautiful and raw and unplanned, and you get to still celebrate in that big and wonderful way with all of your friends and family later (you get to have your cake and eat it too).
Don't give up. Don't give up on celebrating one of the most sacred and special commitments of your life. Don't let what's going on in the world take any more from you. Don't lose sight of what and who is important. Love fiercely.
